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How to make all decisions in life and business

This was originally sent as a newsletter to my email list. Subscribe to my weekly newsletter for women consultants here.

I hopped into your inbox a couple of weeks ago sharing that I love my new washing machine but that it was more than just appreciating how quickly it eats through my laundry pile.

I love my new washing machine, because I have a personal value of ‘using the right tools for the job’, (any of my therapists from the last 2 decades would be able to tell you why…lol) which means that having good quality things that work well and make my life feel easier ticks some really deep boxes for me.

Last year I read that burnout happens when we do life in a way that goes against our personal values.

That really caused a spring to pop out of my brain because I’m a burnout survivor, and if you’re here, I’m willing to bet that you might be too.

And in all honesty, 14 years ago when I was working a stressful London career job in project management, commuting into the city and dreading my working days, at the time I felt I was doing life from a place of integrity. I thought I was living my best life ever. I had just got married to the man who is still my husband today, and it felt like I had my whole life in front of me and it was going to be one big huge success.

Only it wasn’t.

6 months after getting married, I went through severe burnout and felt for a long time afterwards that I had broken myself. After several months of rest it became clear I couldn’t go back to my career so I quit. And eventually I found entrepreneurism, set up as a coach and 10 years later, here I am!

But this whole perspective of burnout being caused by doing life in a way that is out of integrity with our personal values really stuck in my mind, because it provided a whole new angle on my burnout experience.

And it made me realise that if it can make us that sick when we are out of integrity with our values, actually, our values are incredibly important. And more than that, we should know what they are.

So how can you tell what your personal values are?

Even just thinking about it might bring a whole list to mind, but if you’re feeling a bit blank it might help to consider:

> What has made you really insanely happy and fulfilled in the last year? How about in the last 5-10 years? What would you say your proudest or most buzz-filled moments have been – whether that’s achievements, experiences, trips, interactions with other people. What has really made you feel like you’re living your best life and feeling that sense of deep fulfilment?

> On the flip side, what has really got you steamed or frustrated? It might feel uncomfortable to ‘go negative’, but we often have our anger or frustration activated when our values are threatened, so this is a helpful guide post!

> What are your future aspirations? What do these aspirations reveal about your personal values?

For example, it could be that your proudest moment was giving a speech and getting a really great reaction from a room full of people in your industry who are your ideal clients. From this, you could interpret that your values are speaking boldly, creating connection, growing your business, creating personal wealth, inspiring others.

You could have got really mad when you witnessed a co-worker being spoken to harshly and getting the blame for something that wasn’t their fault. From this, you might identify that you have a personal value of fairness, treating others with respect, speaking truth to power, standing up for the rights of others.

There really are no wrong answers, so feel free to take a moment today and go on a mini-voyage of self discovery. Think through, what might be some of your personal values?

There is no telling what you might learn about yourself!

Because once we understand our personal values, we create self-awareness and the ability to spot the red flags that we might be facing the temptation to betray our values. But we can enjoy the things that light us up even more, because we understand that we are ticking our own boxes.

I experienced insane fulfilment recently when I put some apples that had arrived damaged with my grocery order on the grass by my apple tree. The next morning the blackbirds were enjoying them and I couldn’t stop smiling. And when I thought about it, I realised it was because I have personal values of not having to eat damaged or spoiled food, but also caring for nature and nurturing local wildlife.

Once we understand our personal values, this then means we can make future decisions in our lives and businesses honouring our personal values and creating more fulfilment for ourselves, but also acknowledging the red flags that come up and avoiding situations that are out of integrity for us.

Game changer, hey?

If you’re a 6 or 7 figure woman consultant and you’ve experienced burnout in the past and you’re worried you might face it again in the future, I would love to hear from you. I help high-achieving women consultants beat the burnout cycle by working less and earning more, and get to seven figures in revenue with ease and flow.

Click here to fill out my application form and explore working with me.

Have a great week,

Jessica x

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